I fix computers for a living. That’s because I’m an unapologetic nerd. I don’t like retail work, food service digging ditches, truck driving, HVAC work, plumbing and lots of other things. I would DO those things in a pinch if I had to. I’d rather fix computers because people seem to need it and I enjoy doing it. That seems to be a pretty good reason.
Most of the time I contract myself out to various .gov agencies, it’s boring, but it keeps the bills paid. A few years ago I ended up in a shitty little US Southwest backwater on a contract gig. The wife felt we were getting behind on things so I took on a second job with a major US retailer over the Holidays.
I did this for the wife you see. Partly for something to do, partly for the discounts and maybe for the money (well — maybe not for the money as it turned out.) I rarely see how people interact with the stuff I support. For example, I've set up point of sale systems, but I've never operated one outside of testing.
I won’t say which big-box company I worked for. I’m sure you have all shopped there. Let me preface this by saying my experience was mostly positive. I liked the company and would work for them again except for the pay which to put into perspective — I did similar work back in the 1970s for a grocery company and got paid about the same or even LESS per hour adjusted for inflation. I was in high school then and didn't have shit like car payments, mortgages, rent or child support to worry about.
The store was located in a rural area, a long way from any major cities. I was informed by a chatty HR person that it was hard to keep good people working in that store because of the area demographics. That’s why the pay was a little above minimum and not exactly minimum.
Here are some observations.
Company Culture;
I was impressed with the extent company culture was drilled into new recruits. Newbies are informed that the company is “the best evah” and pays so much better than “that brand X company.” I felt they went a little nuts over this, however I was not intending to make a career out of working there. Unlike most of my co-workers!
The company has a bazillion acronyms which I didn't bother to learn. They have a bunch of fun training meetings where we had to run around the store and find random shit. The training was nearly all indoctrination, we were “trained” on the point-of-sale systems for about an hour, then it was hit the line and good luck!
They are pretty firm about people getting breaks and lunches. I was told that the Labor Board gets automatic reports from their HR system. Seems a bit draconian to me, but they did get the breaks on time!
To take a break you must punch out and punch back in using a complex digital system. Breaks are closely timed and you had to punch in and out within a few seconds of when you were supposed to, even though it took most of a minute to punch all of the code groups (day/month/year ID number/ code number for lunch or break.)
The company was really against unions, to the point of making us watch a propaganda video on how unions didn't really improve the lot of workers. I wanted to insert a shot of some filthy kid in a 19th century coal mine giving thumbs up for right to work! Some fat guy with a cigar and a top hat approves this.
Edit; unions are not a cure-all but they do keep companies aware of their workers. Top Hat Guy does NOT approve and thinks I suck balls for mentioning it.
The work.
I was a cashier, running a cash-box which at any given time had more money inside than I've ever had for myself in cash — Ever. We didn't keep a till much to my surprise. I counted it a couple of times and discovered, those registers have got a LOT of cash in them. However, if anyone reading this is thinking of robbing a bigbox store cash register can forget it.
Big Brother watches bigbox stores! Every transaction is videoed along with a running account of each key punched on the system. You are closely monitored whenever you set foot into a bigbox store. There are dozens of video cameras all over the place, some of them are hidden, and some are fake. None of them are watched all the time but all of them keep images for a few days. I never mentioned to anyone that I've administrated such systems, didn't want to make them nervous!
Otherwise the work itself was kind of mindless. It was like being a bag-boy back in the 1970s and by-the-way; you have to ring up purchases while you bag merchandise. Back in my day a specialist called a “cashier”; usually female and sometimes good looking did this while us “bag-boys” did what bag-boys do. (Hit on the cashiers — duh.)
I can see how the computer revolution eliminated an entire class of jobs. No more bag-boys and I was a cashier. Nobody hit on me either.
I was handling about 50 transactions an hour. An average transaction was about $75.00 so I was running nearly a thousand dollars an hour into the system. Remember this was a backwater store in an out-of-the way part of the country. There were usually four or more people working the registers at every given moment. Not to mention the four or five other department lines. That’s like $5000 per hour gross intake. People in the computer field did all of this? And they still want to cram SOPA down our necks? Bad Congress — no biscuit!
The people; co-workers and management.
Most of the people I worked with were pleasant. The managers were very good and polite. They almost drifted into love-bombing when we did our job well (not quite love-bombing, they certainly believed in “praseology” as a management stratagem.) They would often say “thanks for all of your hard work” and that kind of thing. Most if not all of the people I worked with were high school grads. A couple were in college, but I didn't run into anyone with a college degree except one old codger who was retired and needed something to do.
My only bitch about management is that they were unrealistic about store closing. If one is scheduled to say, 11:PM it is very likely you will be there until midnight or 1 AM. Most people didn't have a problem with that. The schedules rarely clashed so a closing person almost never opened the next morning. I got upset merely because I had to get up at 5 AM to go to my day job. It got rough when I closed several days concurrently. Most of my co-workers were high school kids or late middle aged people who worked there full time (and they thought I was from outer space when I described what I did for my day job.)
Also; we were required to solicit stuff like credit cards during a transaction. This is annoying to the customer and the employee as well. I've never liked sales and I didn't like being forced to wear my salesman hat when I was trying to get people through the checkout line. It slows you down to and that affects your transaction rating which is displayed between every customer.
The Environment.
No complaint, the building was clean, the restrooms were clean. (I should know, I cleaned them!) I had to go fetch freaking shopping carts in the snow! That was more fun than running the register.
The Public.
Frankly; people can be utter pigs. Not all of them to be sure, not even most of them. But enough to make my head spin. While I was ringing up sales I started categorizing customer types (because I do that!) Here’s a quick bestiary of bigbox store customers.
Change Counters;
A Change Counter MUST count out exact change no matter how absurd the amount. “That comes to fifty four dollars and eighty nine cents" I say.” They hand me a hundred dollar bill; while I’m in the middle of handing them their forty five dollars-eleven cents they have to dig out eighty nine cents in pennies! THEN THEY HAVE TO COUNT THE FUCKING PENNIES! Then they behave like I’m supposed to congratulate them on wasting my time and the six or so people in line who are now pissed off. Also the fact that each transaction is timed and waiting for a customer like that gives you a bad rating.
Price Quibblers.
“Oh that’s at half price!” says Price Quibbler. Now; the item has already been reduced by about 1/2 price. I point this out to Price Quibbler hoping they will drop the whole thing and just buy the item. “The sign said that everything was half price!” Price Quibbler exclaims. “That means it’s half off whatever it says there.”
Well, actually it does not. The thing is already ringing up half off the regular amount. Price Quibbler is trying to get this item at a quarter of the regular price. So we send someone to do a check, “Oh I don’t want it then!” Price Quibbler says when the price check confirms what I told them.
Stupid Price Quibbler!
Go-back People.
Go-back People will bring a cart-full of merchandise to the register and leave half of it lying around. “I just don’t want this, and this and this …. Etc.” WELL WHY DID YOU HAUL THIS CRAP UP TO THE REGISTER IN THE FIRST PLACE? ”
Some Go-back People will cunningly hide stuff behind signs and other merchandise. Like they believe we have invisible Underpants Gnomes which magically whisk the items back where they belong. There is a subset of Go-back People who let their children play with toys until they are finished or the toy is broken, whichever comes first.
Then of course they act like they are doing you a favor by hauling merchandise across the store so it can live in a box at the service desk all day and have some minimum wage-slave stick it back on the shelf at 1 AM tomorrow morning.
Bob and Lisa
“Bob and Lisa “ is a code phrase for checking the bottom of the cart and inside boxes for merchandise. They are also a type of customer. I've had Bob and Lisa try to rush things past me, then behaved insulted when I tried to scan the item, then had me void the item off behaving like it was my fault it was sitting on the bottom of the cart.
Yeah right! Thanks Bob and Lisa!
Phone talkers
On the phone for the entire transaction. Slow getting stuff on the conveyor slow getting money out. Confusion over stuff on the pay screens. Can’t figure out where credit card or money is.
GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE!
Don’t mess up my Clothes Folk.
Don’t mess my Clothes Folk think that if their new clothing touches ANYTHING but the cashier’s fingers or the plastic bag they are about to put them into; their clothing will burst into stinky flames. They get hysterical if their clothing even brushes the cash register belt. Somehow the belt, cash register and everything else must be contaminated with that funky alien virus from The Andromeda Strain.
Since they believe their blood will coagulate if their new underpants touches the register, I have to make this big show of carefully waving their smallclothes over the UPC sensor and getting them into individual bags before a slimy green monster springs forth.
Of course I don’t tell them that the belt is cleaned pretty often with an ammonia based cleaner, deadly to most bacteria. MY HANDS ARE NOT! I've been standing at the register for four hours and there are all kinds of funky bacteria and stuff on the dirtiest part of my body (ie) MY HANDS! Where did the bacteria come from?
I've been handling money, fool!
Quick! Notify Michael Crichton!
How do I Pay? Folk
How do I Pay? Folk cannot figure out which of the twenty credit cards in their purse/wallet will have a glimmer of action enough to pay for whatever useless trash they are buying. How do I Pay? Folk can’t remember where they put money in giant cluttered purse. How do I Pay? Folk‘s’ money is in the car or with someone else who is still shopping.
I don’t mind waiting, do I?
Cash-Only folk
How in the hell do people get away with carrying so much cash? I mean really! There is a class of people who apparently don’t have bank accounts and get paid in cash stuffed into white envelopes. Dropping three hundred dollars for just random stuff (candy, bric-a-brack, perfume, movies) seems normal to Cash-only folk.
I’m in awe when I see people nonchalantly pull out hundred dollar bills to pay for twenty dollar purchases, and they have a stack of those. Some are oil workers which get paid in cash I’m sure but, some Cash-only folk don’t seem to be from around here — if you know what I mean.
Couponeteers
Look, I like coupons! But let’s get one thing straight. A coupon is a conditional device to get a discount and attract customers and that’s all. They are not the reason you shop at a store and they should NOT be the reason you pick up an item even though condition usually about purchasing some product. They are marketing and advertising tools in fact. Remember that.
Not so to one customer! She informed me that the 5 dollar store coupon just meant she got five dollars off regardless that she didn't meet the conditions (of making $50 dollars in purchases.) I had to read the coupon to her, twice, explain what the words meant and explain the theory behind coupons. Of course she got annoyed when she thought I was patronizing her.
Then she really frightened me when she got into a car and drove off. Hopefully she can figure out where the brakes are.
It’s on Sale for Half Price Today Folk!
Why is it that people start to proclaim things are on sale the moment we get really busy? You have to stop and get a price check, annoying everyone.
I know people are doing this just to defraud the store and get stuff a little cheaper. Some have a point in that the signs don’t always correspond with the coded price. Company policy is to just cave and let them rip the store within reason. But I've had people demand that I take half off $50 items with no evidence.
Other observations
One other thing I observed is the abject desperation of some people. I had folks come through who obviously had no money, yet they were maxing out whatever credit they had to buy Christmas ornaments and decorations. I suppose I’m a cynic, but I keep thinking that Christmas is only a short time every year (not freaking Halloween to January!) Some decorations are fine if you can afford them but, food on the table, rent/utilities first people!
All in all it was a good experience and I don’t regret it one bit. I had no TIME to do anything else for those several months. Literally; I was working and sleeping and that was about it.
I've also got more respect for people working in such places.
What continues to astound me is that most (if not all) of my bigbox store co-workers were working THAT job as their sole income! They too had car payments, kids and whatnot. How in the world can people work for such a pittance and make ends meet? I have no idea. I live pretty frugally, I saved up change to get an Xbox and that’s about the only indulgence I allowed myself this year. I was wealthy compared to almost everyone else working at the bigbox store.
Look, I grew up in the 1970s. I joined the workforce in high school, after the military in the 1980s, got married and lived as a Dink for 20 odd years. We didn't have much, but we did own a house. Had a couple of cars and a few nice things. But I've always worked in the “skilled labor” pool and so did my Dink partner, I can’t imagine that kind of lifestyle (poor as it was) if we were working in places like this!
Morale to this story? Labor sucks in this county. Fat Top-Hat-Guy has rigged the system so that most people are impoverished and it’s going stay that way. We are experiencing another “industrial revolution,” only this time it’s the “information indexing revolution” and people who work in unskilled labor are stuck in the belly of the beast with no way up or out. Sadly; many are on the way down as the legions of homeless in most cities illustrate. That’s got to stop. Workers need to get a living wage. This business of either; work for minimum wage and go into debt just to eat, or sell a kidney for college has got to stop too. There needs to be more choices than few our kids face today.
And this is the normal way of society, except during a recent short period in the West after World War II. For a short time we had a vibrant middle class who got paid well. We had expectations of retirement. Now it’s back to the same old thing, legions of peasants and few people owning most of the stuff. Welcome to the new middle ages!
But I digress, I would certainly work for this company again if it meant that or living under a bridge. Lucky that I developed mad-skillz to service our robot overlords. Most people I encounter can’t or won’t develop those skills (or any other “mad skillz” type jobs.) Those people are relegated to working low paying jobs like ones in bigbox stores.
And even those kinds of jobs will be eliminated before long. I can envision a bigbox store complete with shelf stocking robots and automated checkout counters. The only humans would be the robot minders (people like me,) security (which also might also be robots) and Fat Top-Hat-Guy in a plush New York City office rubbing his hands in glee.
Let me be the last to remind Fat Top-Hat-Guy that the industrial revolution was marked by a series of wars, from the US Civil war to World War two. The “Age of Indexing” may not be any better. Unless I miss my guess, it’s going to be far worse! Also; Fat Top-Hat-Guy tastes just like bacon! #eattherich
I hope Fat Top-Hat-Guy invested in the military industrial complex!
